I love you too
by JesstheGalaxyDefender
Summary: "Sometimes, I look into the mirror and I see me, with all the flaws and I have conversations with myself, talking to myself about all my bad points. Other times, I look in the mirror and it's the other way around; I see the good points. But that image goes too quickly and it's back to my flaws and I start to feel worse about myself."


Danny's eyes flickered open as he realized his boyfriend wasn't lying next to him in bed.

"Tom?"

The brunette peered into each room, with no luck. The faint strum of a guitar pierced the air and Danny followed the sound into the garden.

Tom was lying on the grass in his pyjamas, gazing up at the stars and casually plucking at the guitar strings.

"Hey Tom. What are you doing out here?" He didn't reply.

"Couldn't sleep huh?"

Tom turned to look at Danny and smiled, as if he just snapped out of his thoughts.

"Hi Danny." He said with a faint smile.

Danny hated when Tom was like this, so distant and unloving. It was so out of character. This happened less often now, Tom wandering off to be on his own. He was getting better, but it was going to be a long project. Building self-esteem was never easy.

Tom didn't have any 'problems', no depression or anything like that, just no self-confidence. He was recommended to take counselling sessions but since tour had only just finished, they were due to start in a week.

Tom patted the long grass next to him, wordlessly telling Danny to sit beside him.

They both lay there in a comfortable silence before Tom broke the quiet.

"It's like…" He paused, trying to find the words that won't make it seem exaggerated or fake. "Sometimes, I look into the mirror and I see me, with all the flaws and I have conversations with myself, talking to myself about all my bad points. Other times, I look in the mirror and it's the other way around; I see the good points. But that image goes too quickly and it's back to my flaws and I start to feel worse about myself."

Danny only nodded; hearing Tom speak was always nice since it happened less and less. He turns to face him and sees a vulnerability that scares him. Tom was always the one in the band comforting the others; if Tom was scared, it meant something bad. The blonde slips his delicate hand into Danny's larger one, instantly feeling safer and he cherishes it.

"I hate being like this, I wish I could be happy with who I am. I have a great job, the most amazing best friends and one awesome boyfriend; why can't I be happy with myself?" There's a few tears falling from the blonde's eyes and although he's the oldest, he looks like a child who's lost his way.

Danny wraps a comforting arm around Tom's shoulders and Tom curls into his chest, hands balled into fists. Somehow, it feels like before again, before his confidence dropped.

"Can you sing a song for me, Danny?" Tom's watery, brown eyes meet Danny's calm, blue ones.

"Any?"

Tom nods in response. So Danny picks up the old guitar and starts to play Chills in the Evening. It's an underappreciated song and it felt fitting, both of them feeling those chills from time to time. Tom, from the times he felt he wasn't needed and Danny from when Tom felt like that and he couldn't show that he was.

"How was that?"

Tom smiled genuinely, "Nice."

The smile Tom gave made Danny hopeful; because it was like the real Tom. Not the distant one, but the happy, caring one.

Even in this state, Danny feels lucky to have Tom.

"I love you."

Tom looked up, eyebrows quirked in question, " Why?"

"Do you even have to ask? Tom, you're the most amazing person I've ever met and I don't get why you don't see that. You're talented, caring, and hard-working but you still find time to let your friends know you care about them. I love when you get those laughing fits that seem like they'll never stop and when you get so lost in singing, you don't care for the fans; you're in your own world. I love that you can just pick up a guitar and half-an-hour later you have the melody and the chorus to a song already. I love that little dimple that lights up your smile. I love you."

Silence filled the air once again, the couple lost in their own thoughts. The night was getting much colder, they must have been lying outside for nearly an hour now. Danny felt a slight shiver run down him.

"Do you wanna come back to bed with me?"

Tom merely nodded with a yawn and let Danny carry him back to the bedroom. They lay down on their bed the way they lay on the grass, as close together as they could be.

"Danny?"

"Hmm?" he replied, too tired to speak.

"I love you too."

I would love if you just read this bit, you don't have to reply but I need to get it out. This story is kind of about me. Of course, I'm not in McFly and I haven't just finished a tour but I've been referred to a councillor and I'm probably seeing them for the first time within the next couple of weeks. I'm scared shitless. I hate talking about myself because I feel worthless and I honestly hate myself. I don't have any depression and I've only harmed a couple of times and I hate myself for it. When I think about it, I have a good life and I don't know why I can't be happy. I do the thing with the mirror and I just pick out the bad things in me but I can't help it.

I honestly think coming into has really helped because of the favourites and the reviews and just putting my feelings onto here has really helped and I haven't been to sit outside on my own for a while so thank you so much if you have reviewed or favourited.

Thanks for reading to here.


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